Friday, November 13, 2009

How to break into a group

I have been a hotelier all my life. We would frequently have get-togethers where we were required to be present. Being good quality hotels, the guests would be from varied fields, various cultures and different countries. Breaking the ice with them would always be a challenge. Although it came on slowly, here are some points I would like to share with people who are now getting into this field. "Personal Impact - What it takes to make a difference" by Vickers, Bavister and Smith is a wonderful book that describes these in great depth. Suggest all hoteliers to go through it.
1) Find someone who is standing alone. It is easier to go up to individuals.
2) If you are relatively quiet, you might need to pluck up a little courage. However, when you realize your guest feels the same, you will feel more confident and comfortable.
3) Avoid pairs / couples – Only approach two people if you have no other option and if you feel they are open to others joining them. If you see two people with heads close, leaning on each other, standing close, DO NOT approach.
4) Select the best group – When there are several possible groups, consider those involved, who are the people most likely on your wavelength.
5) Approach confidently – once you have chosen the group, do not hover on the edge or go around the. Approach them confidently.
6) Choose the largest gap – Do not push your way in a small gap. Chose the largest gap available.
7) Catch someone’s eye – Normally, someone will look at you as you join. They will generally be listening rather than speaking. Catch their eye and they will turn to you.
8) Ask them if you can join – Ask ‘May I join you?’ This sounds respectful and you are not going to get an answer in the negative unless there is a very good reason. Hold out your hand and introduce yourself.
9) Go with the flow – Do not take over the conversation. Either pick up on something that was being said or ask a question of the group.
10) Ask the guests if they are comfortable and if you could get them a drink.
11) If you need to start a conversation, use the OARS model: Observe, Ask Questions, Reveal, Share.
12) When you feel the guest is ready to move on, do not hold on. A good exit line if you are sure they are ready to move – “I am sure you would like to circulate…It was a pleasure to meet you.”
13) Pass them on – Offer to introduce your guest to someone you know who may be useful to them.
14) Suggest you join another group – “Shall we go and meet some more new people.”
15) Another exit line that works – End with “Nice to meet you. I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening.”